There was a local meat fair recently, it's kind of sad. It doesn't really matter where the animal is killed, I think. I am getting more comfortable living in a world that does not value the same things as me, though. I realized this with all the herbicide work I have been doing. I learned about herbicides for the weeds contest, became a certified pesticide applicator, and am learning/teaching about herbicides as a TA. It's interesting to learn about and get the real, unbiased story on. And I realize, that it is complex. I see why farmers use them and farm kids make fun of people who want to ban them all. And yet, it doesn't feel right at all. I don't think it's a good way to think about these agro-ecological systems we're creating, or to deal with the problem. On the outside, it looks like I have completely flipped my stance (as many older people tell young people they will do), but the reality is that I haven't at all. I just see the nuance in the situation and have a lot more respect for those who disagree than I used to.

It amazes me to see I don't feel nearly as conflicted as I used to, without changing my core values. I do my best regardless of anything because it's based on what I feel to be right, not on ideology (ideally!). Much more difficult is smaller, everyday things--not arguing with people close to me, or gossiping, or thinking snide thoughts. The big things are easier to do right but the small wrongs are much more significant than I often realize.