Winter already....

This MS program is going by fast. So many things crammed in such a small amount of time, it's hard to believe I've done all of it. I keep forgetting things I've done, or am doing, or have to do. Doesn't that prove it's too much, if I can't even remember? I forget things all the time now, and like everyone else here, it's tempting to add even more to my schedule (especially if you want to do important things outside of school). It feels like it's not okay to say "no" unless you're truly about to breakdown.

I don't blame my adviser. Yesterday, she said flat out, "Don't get As. Get what you need from the class and go." (Isn't that funny!) It's institutional, cultural.

This lifestyle isn't healthy. Doing too much is as unhealthy as doing too little. The culture rewards workoholism, and ignores the toll on mental health.

Plus, what counts as "doing" something? You don't get a pay raise for taking care of a sick friend, or an A for raising a child, or a line on your resume for dealing with your parents. I see people on the edge of anxiety attacks, constantly sick, self-medicating. There's nothing wrong with people doing all these things--I do them all too, or would do them (I would drink if I got any satisfaction from it). There should be no stigma for such suffering. They are simply consequences of being out of balance. Fixing it is easier said than done...

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On a more positive note-- It's nearly Thanksgiving and I'll get to do some travels. I have work to do, but it'll be nice to have a change of pace.

I've started watching the TV show Lost. One of my friends is into it--when you're busy, it's nice to just zone out and watch something. I know all the millions of things that are wrong with TV, but that doesn't change a thing when you're weary and want some entertainment. It's creepier than I prefer (I have to look away sometimes, since I have no tolerance for violence), but the character development is so interesting. They have flashbacks for everyone, showing they are much more than they seem. I think there is value in that--it reminds me how there is so much more to people than meets the eye. You don't know what someone else has been through and what they're dealing with, no matter what kind of act they put on. An act is not a person.