Sometimes I get little brief glimpses of clarity that seem to come from meditating at the start of the day. The funny thing is, it never seems to happen again more than a handful of times. So I can't really know where this will all go, but I know my job is to do it.

Today I went to a potluck with students from the student farm. They are really amazing, idealistic and putting in hard work to keep things going. I would work there if I wasn't working outside all day, and I look forward to do so when I'm stuck writing and analyzing data all day (in a little over a year!).

More and more I reaffirm that a PhD isn't right for me. I like this for now, but I prefer learning on my own, instead of the hoop jumping, over-specific type of learning that's in school. I also miss interacting with people outside of school, getting a more diverse point of view (outside of privileged twenty-somethings). More and more I am seeing the strangeness of the elite school system. People really think they are working so much harder than people at other schools. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It's best to be humble while knowing what you're good at. It doesn't mean you have to assume you're working harder than everyone else.