My sister left. I knew her so well as a baby and didn't know her at all any more; I'm so glad I was able to bring her. I actually didn't have the money, I just felt duty calling and charged it. Money is just money... letting it get out of control makes it rule you, but little things here and there don't really matter at all.

She is much smarter than I was at that age. Maybe even now, in some ways. She saw the sun was setting, while we were watching a movie on my computer, and wanted to run out and see it (there are some steps we can run up easily, to get to a summit on the hill). My thoughts were telling me that that was too much work--and then I ran up with her and it was amazing. My thoughts can be taken with a grain of salt :)

I feel more of a 'letting go' lately. I started watching talks with Adyashanti, who I had seen before but instantly made me bored. I have a bit more silence now--enough for those gentle sentences and long pauses to feel more like an opening. I started doing a little bit of breathwork before meditating, and it seems to have helped things even out.

People close to me still push my buttons like crazy. What's the point of becoming more open if you fall back to the old ways with those you love the most? So I'm glad I'm constantly getting the opportunity to drop my argument, my stance. Even though I still rarely do >:)

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The increased silence has come at the perfect time. I feel like I've barely been holding on by a thread this past year. Now I have three short talks to give and I relish the opportunity. I will also be TAing, and possibly talking about my research at a conference in Jan. A great way for me to develop my skills and meet new people. I don't know how much networking will help, since I'm not interested in many jobs available. There will be many things though--no worries. I will see what's available when the time comes to choose.